My blog is usually all crafts, baking, gardens, animals and projects, but I'd like to make a little social commentary today about something that's been on my mind.
I don't know if this is something that goes on everywhere, or if it only seems to be within the circle of people that I know, but I've noticed lately that there seems to be a kind of taking pride in unhappiness going around. As though people, women especially, seem to prove their worth by being put upon. I've grown up with this sort of expectation. If your life isn't super difficult, you don't really deserve to be happy, and if it is, well, then you can't be!
I even fell for it the other day! I was talking to a new aquaintance, and she said something about being bored staying at home being a homemaker. I responded that any given moment, I could think of about ten really big jobs, and a million smaller ones that need to be done. Well, sure, this is true. It's spring time! The garden has to go in, the weeds are growing at about ten times the rate of the veggies, etc. And there's all my crafting, the housework, you get the idea. BUT, what I failed to mention is that all of those things (with maybe the exception of mopping the floors, but even that I'd rather do than commute or something) are lots of fun!
I live a blessed life, where I am free to create and grow. I can learn and try new things. I nuture animals and plants and a homelife that's fulfilling to myself and my husband. I have the constant opportunity for hard work, and not much of it seems like drudgery to me. I also have the luxury of time afterward, to rest and recooperate.
This is the kind of life that we should all aspire to! Instead, I'm ashamed to admit that I'm content. Uncomfortable sharing my hapiness with my family and peers. I feel guilty in my rest, even though it's obvious that everyone really does need time to relax and enjoy the fruits of their labors. Why is misery, stress, busy-ness, resentment, and anger a badge of honor and courage? Why are happiness, contentment, and the desire to take things at a slower, more measured pace, see as weakness and selfish greed?
I'm afraid I don't have any helpful conclusions in this line of thought. Other than the simple fact that I truly believe that if more people would try living with less, and simplify their lives, they might also find the same kind of days that I have. It's easy for people to say that I'm privledged, and spoiled, and it's unrealistic to think that other women could become homemakers. I won't argue with them, because they have their minds made up and because those people don't know our household budget and spending. I do know that lifestyle changes are big, and that it takes a big decision for people to come to them. But I also know they're not impossible.
New homes, cars, big parties, lots of toys and clothes, furniture, "outdoor living spaces", electronics, all the things that people pour money into... are they good for you? Can they make you happy? Or do they leave you weighed down? Like you'll never be good enough, because you can never afford good enough?
Anyway, even if you can't have more time, or become a homemaker, or express your creativity, does that mean you have to compete in your unhappiness? People should rejoice in the happiness of others, revel in the things they have in their lives that do make them happy and content. If you find yourself trying to one-up someone with your stress or misery, please, try to make the world a little better, and sympathize and count your blessings instead.
Maybe we can start a bit of competitve contentment instead... I think there wouldn't be a loser to that game.